Chasing After the Wind

"There is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one can say, "Look! This is something new"? I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." - Ecclesiastes 1:9-10, 14.

There is a storm brewing in the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod (LCMS). In fact it has been brewing for some time now, but recently there has been a lot of furor surrounding the Texas District youth conference, and the announcement that several non-LCMS leaders - who believe a distinctly different doctrine on certain fundamental matters - would be taking charge of the conference, including a worship leader from a "non-denominational Spirit-filled Christian church". The Lutheran blogosphere is operating in overdrive, most of the people being extremely (and I would say justifiably) upset that the Texas district and the LCMS are tolerating the fact that these leaders will be joining with and teaching our Lutheran youth a theology which our synod expressly opposes, and more importantly, which God's Word expressly rejects.

I have been privately and even publicly (if you count commenting on blogs as "public") disappointed with much of the Lutheran reaction, as it has too often focused on the errant doctrine - and even the supposed deceptive tactics - of the evangelical leaders and church in general, rather than the responsibility (or lack thereof) of the LCMS and its churches to guard and protect against errant doctrine and uphold the true gospel of Christ as professed in our confessions. Yes, I agree that evangelicalism should not be mixed with Lutheranism; I agree that evangelicals deny several fundamental doctrines of the Bible; I agree that they should not be participating in an LCMS event. Heck, I would even agree that evangelicalism is not only incomplete, but dangerous. I have 24 years of intimate experience with the exact same people and churches who are now involved in this Texas youth event. However, I am disheartened by many of my fellow Lutherans who feel it is more important to beat up and make fun of the evangelicals, adopting a "we're so much better" way of thinking, rather than to take issue with their own synod and churches. Respectfully, I am not so worried that evangelicalism is furtively sneaking through our gates and leaving for us the gift of a carven horse, secreting its influence into our synod - though I do believe it would do so at the slightest invitation. No, I am more worried that our synod is waiting til nightfall to crack open the back gates and let in a little at a time, hoping the sleeping faithful will not stir and rise up.

What I intend to actually discuss here, however, is the new directions and quest for change which are at the root of the Texas district's choice to allow non-LCMS leaders at their gathering, as well as at the root of the present movement within the LCMS in general. Having grown up, from birth, in a non-demoninational evangelical church, spending my first few years in college at the same types of churches (and perhaps even more radical examples of them), and then finding and converting to Lutheranism, I feel I have a distinct advantage when looking at what is really going on here. Sure, one's own experience alone is never enough to fully end the debate. But it is certainly helpful.

The last church I was at before becoming a Lutheran was, I would say, the epitome of the contemporary, seeker-sensitive, evangelical church. The lights were always dim; the music was always loud, concert-oriented rock music mimicking modern secular bands; the people were mostly college and post-college age; the environment was always, 'come in, it's comfortable and fun and unoffending'. Oh, and everything about this church was focused on ME. The atmosphere, the lyrics of the songs, the pleas of the worship leaders to lift up my hands and get on my knees and cry out to God (regardless of what I cried out), the sermons filled with multiple steps to fulfilling my needs. The continual focus on my emotional and passionate surrender to experiencing God. Even those sacred elements of worship, the sacraments, were geared toward my comfort and my emotion. Once-a-month-or-so 'communion' meant walking to one of the tables in the corner of the room, whenever I felt comfortable going during the praise songs, tearing off and eating a piece of bread from the giant loaf, drinking grape juice, and walking back to my seat to continue worshipping while those around me communed at their leisure. Baptism took place far less often, and entailed a giant inflatable pool in the front of the room, the pastor standing inside in his board shorts, inviting each person into the pool and asking how they came to know Jesus and if they now wanted to be baptised, the immersion and reappearance, and the resounding applause of the congragation. Neither 'ordinance' had anything to do with what Christ has done for us, but what we do in remembrance of Christ.

When I was still a non-denominational evangelical, I visited a confessional, liturgical Lutheran church with a college roommate. Although I continued in my church for some time, I had gotten a taste of something completely different. The Lutheran church had…EVERYTHING I had never heard growing up in my evangelical church. And I’m not just talking about the stylistic differences. I’m talking about what the church teaches and how the church operates. It was as if for 24 years I had been fed only kool-aid, which was pleasing to my tastes but always, ALWAYS left me feeling empty and unfulfilled and coming back for another cup, and now I was being fed a 24 oz. Porterhouse steak. And now I wanted more. Now I saw what I had been missing all along.

Now I see almost the same reaction from those in the LCMS who are Ablaze with passion for the new and different. They now insist that everything they had done previously, everything they had known and been raised with, was wrong and misguided and missing out on the right way. They see the exciting praise band who isn't afraid to shake things up. They see the way the music gets the congregation to surrender to God and desire to be close to Him. They see the way this contemporary method can attract the youth and the unchurched, because after all, this is what the youth and unchurched like! This is what makes them feel comfortable and welcome. Now, finally, we can discard the stale monotony of the liturgy and the hymns with their "organ-only" trappings. Now we can raise up people who are passionate about God, who seek an intimate relationship with Him, who just want to love and serve God. Now they see what they had been missing all along.

But therein lies the problem: the way we look at “what has been missing all along”. For me, I was throwing off 24 years of evangelicalism, which meant giving up the emotional intimacy, the passion, the constant desiring to be close to God, the perpetual effort of trying to please God. But what I gained was far and above what I lost. I gained, FINALLY, true substance. It is no longer about me and my passion and my effort and my feelings and my surrender. Because you know what? That’s exactly what I hated about myself in the evangelical church. That is all I ever heard, and I NEVER measured up. No amount of raised hands or shed tears or altar calls for recommitting my life to God could ever bring me to the one place they promised to bring me - close to God. If I sound angry, it is because I am. I was led by the hand of evangelicalism for 24 years, always being told that this was the way to be a passionate follower of Christ. Instead, I walked that endless path without true passion and, sadly, without the true Christ. That is what drove me out of the evangelical churches. I left a church with tons of feelings and passion but zero substance, for a church with endless substance and a passion that follows from it. Now, it is about CHRIST, not me. "It’s not about you. It’s about Christ FOR you."

The problem as I see it is that the desire to get at “what’s been missing” absolutely requires one to think (a foreign concept to the evangelical) about what that new direction entails. For me, it was abandoning empty self-centeredness for Christ-centered substance. For those in the LCMS who desire the new change, I fear they are going backward. My experience tells me that they will throw off the stale and trifling old confessions to chase after the passion and excitement of the new worship style - "And among the things thus designated as "trifling" is found the Cross of Christ", as Machen rightly observed. All the while they are convinced that this is what they really need. But let us not be fooled by their 'best intentions' - they absolutely are convinced that this is a good change, a necessary change. However, they will leave Christ behind; they now follow the method instead of the gospel message. It reminds me of something written by C.S. Lewis: "If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth, only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair."

I've been down the road they now want to travel. I know what I left behind and the very same thing awaits these when they arrive. It is not what they think. It is only emptiness, a chasing after the wind.